Some Unedited Ramblings...

I am discovering that time spent in solitude is indeed, by definition, lonely. But this was only my initial reaction, and it has quickly passed. Although I haven't resorted to talking to a volleyball, a la Tom Hanks in Castaway, I have spent many nights cozy in my sleeping bag, staring at the stars, and thinking. Sometimes about the past... sometimes about the future. But what I've found are the most peaceful are the times when I think about nothing but the present moment.

"Wow, those stars are beautiful and mysterious."

"Listen to that wind whistling through the pines. It sounds as though Mother Earth is trying to talk to me. If I listen closely, I'll bet that I can figure out what she is saying."

"Was that a coyote, or just the wind?" (speaking of coyotes, I can't wait until I can upload some pictures, 'cause I got a few great ones of a coyote that seemed to be following me as I drove through Yellowstone the other day)

"I've never noticed how beautiful some pine needles and a pinecone can be when they are scattered in the snow."

"My goodness, this coffee is good!"

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that thought, in and of itself, becomes a powerful companion. Sometimes I feel as though I've done more thinking in the last 34 days than I've done in my entire 34 years on this planet. Good grief! When I put it like that... "34 years" I can't help but wonder what the hell I've been doing for all of it! Ah-ha! Another topic for another day! But I digress...

This was the "conversation" that I had with my mind the other night as I slept in my truck, tucked amongst boulders, trees, and snow:

Now, I find myself feeling more and more "at home" here in the West. I know, deep down, that I'm supposed to be out here, whatever it is that I end up "doing". What I've come to realize, and look forward to exploring further, is that what I "do" does NOT define who I am. A good friend of mine told me that repeatedly, but the truth is, sometimes one has to discover these truisms themselves.

Hearing it leads to believing it, but living it leads to KNOWING it. What does that mean? Well, simply this: We can be told many things in our lives, and we chose to believe what we like. But experiencing life itself leads to knowledge. For instance, you can tell me all you want that your cherry pie tastes great, and I'll surely believe you. But do I KNOW what it tastes like? Not until I eat it. In other words, once I actually experience something, only then can my belief morph into knowledge.

This, invariably, leads to a discussion on faith and trust. Sure, I can take it on faith that your piece of pie is scrumptous. It looks good... It smells good, and I can see the reaction on your face as you eat it. But do I yet KNOW what it tastes like? For that matter, what might be "scrumptuous" to you is only mediocre to me. My perception of the same knowledge might end up being different than yours. Is mine right and yours wrong? Or the other way around? Or is there such a thing as right and wrong?

So again I ask, how can I know what it tastes like until I experience it for myself? The truth is, I can't.

Can one believe in things that they can't see, hear, smell, taste, or feel? Absolutely! That is what faith and belief are all about. But is it knowledge? I'm not trying to imply that knowledge is superior to faith. But simply that it is a different animal entirely, and they each have their place and their limitations. As discussed before, I can't know something without experiencing it, but on the flip side, I can't experience everything, so some things must be taken on faith. But herein lies the rub... what do I chose to experience, and what do I chose to take on faith?

Uh-oh...I feel a major theological rambling coming on... I better settle down for now.

All these thoughts! Well, without TV or a Playstation, what did you expect? Its kind of fun letting your mind be your entertainment!