He Said it All In One Single Quote!

Note from Lefty: I'm starting something a little different today. Up to this point, Lefty's Trail has been a journal of my travels and some random thoughts that came up along the way. I think for this blog to serve a purpose for me, the writer, it needs to be more. Although I plan on continuing the more simple journal-like entries, especially once I get back out on the road, I also plan to do more writing that I WANT to do. Pure and Simple. There will be lots of opinions, lots of weird or strange stories, and lots of rambling down off-topic paths. I may write about religion, politics, race and gender issues, basketball, snowboarding, favorite recipes, the greatness of North Carolina barbecue, and anything else that inspires me to sit down and fire something out. I plan to use this blog as a personal workshop to practice my writing. I never mean to offend anyone, but when one writes opinion, it's virtually inevitable that I will offend just about everyone at some point or another. If the content interests you, GREAT! But if not, just check back on another day, 'cause I'll be trying something different as often as possible. Thanks. -Lefty

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"The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to a mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity."
-Benjamin Franklin

Truer words have never been spoken, yet we find ourselves in a place where all too often these simple rules are forgotten, or even worse, ignored. Let's look at each piece of Ben Franklin's advice.

"The best thing to give your enemy is forgiveness"
Wow... a tough one right out of the gate! Our instinct is to retaliate when we are harmed; an eye for an eye, right? Well, Mr. Franklin says no. Are we correct to feel hurt? I think that's a very human thing to feel. Are we correct to seek revenge? Ah... This is where Mr. Franklin would say no. A 'civilized society' should draw the line here and take the high road. So, who is the enemy of which Mr. Franklin is speaking? Who are your enemies? And how the heck are we supposed to forgive those that have hurt us?

Does this mean we are supposed to allow those that mean us harm to do so, and then to forgive them? Does this mean that pacifism is always the 'way to go'? I have to say that I am a pacifist and I believe that the world could certainly use MANY more pacifists in today's day and age. I think what Mr. Franklin is saying here is to realize that if we simply give in to the immediate urge, the impulse, the instinct to seek revenge against our enemies, we create a never ending spiral. After all, if you live by revenge, why shouldn't your enemy as well? So when you enact your revenge, now they have to enact their revenge for your revenge, then you...well, you get my point. I think Mr. Franklin is saying that a wise man has the opportunity to stop this endless chain before it even gets a chance to build it's second link. Is it easy? Nope. But as many a great leader has said, nothing worth doing ever is.

"The best thing to give... an opponent, tolerance"
Very much in the same ilk as our first piece above. It's my opinion that Mr. Franklin is referring here to political and religious opponents, although this may be a very narrow interpretation. But let's, for the sake of argument, just use those two areas. In the last decade, the line between political and religious 'opponents' sure seems to have blurred. It seems that in many areas of debate, the two are one in the same. I'm not here tonight to take any sides of any issues. What I'd like to explain is my opinion of why tolerance is so critical to the continuation of our country as we know it.

Does anyone out there remember the old "Schoolhouse Rock" short cartoons that were on Saturday Mornings between episodes of Bugs Bunny and The Roadrunner? You know, "Conjunction Junction, What's your function?", and "How I hope and pray that I will, but today I am still just a bill." Sadly, I think I learned more from these 3 minute animated tutors than I learned in an entire year of "Economic, Legal, and Political Systems in Action", my sixth grade Social Studies course. Anyway, there was a Schoolhouse Rock about the U.S.A; The Great American Melting Pot. I don't remember the whole thing, but one visual stands out in my faded memories. The last image of the cartoon showed a big, huge black pot on a stove, and in the pot were a bunch of kids swimming, smiling, and laughing underneath a floating Statue of Liberty. Actually, now that I read that back, it's sort of a sick and demented image (kids in a stew pot), but really, for those that haven't seen it, it wasn't THAT bad! Anyway, the main thing about this episode was that the kids in the stew-pot swimming pool were all different. Black, White, Asian, Indian, boys, girls... The message of this was clear... we're all different, and we all might believe very different things, but in the end, we're all Americans, and we're all in this 'stew' together.

In today's 'blogosphere' and on the nightly news, all I see is hate and intolerance. Intolerance of different religions, of different beliefs, of different values. I'm not saying that you shouldn't believe what YOU believe, but you have to understand that what I believe might be DAMN different from you. And that HAS TO BE okay. I'm not saying that it should be okay, I'm saying that it has to be okay. I don't believe in your God? Sorry, but that doesn't make me less of an American. I don't believe in your definition of family values? Sorry, but that doesn't make me less of an American. See, the whole point of the United States of America was for the government to ensure your freedom to pursue your own beliefs. Now, can this same government enact laws that define what certain behaviors must be tolerated and what behaviors will not be tolerated. Yes, that is the government's duty. If individuals decide to live outside of these parameters and break those laws, they should be punished accordingly. But here in lies the rub? What if I morally object to the law. Should I still have to follow it? Of course if I don't, I better be prepared for the consequences of my decision, but I still have the RIGHT to make that choice. That is what being a member of the human race is all about. If you don't see what I'm saying here, or if you disagree, than you REALLY need to read Thoreau's Civil Disobedience.

So, is it your job to judge me and my value system? I don't believe it is. Never has been, never will be in my opinion, and it seems not in Mr. Franklin's either. You MUST tolerate things you may not necessarily like. It's your responsibility to tolerate them. You don't have to like them, but you must tolerate them. That doesn't mean that you can't organize those that believe like you do, and try to change the law through a little process we have called 'democracy'. That's exactly what you should do. But don't speak evil of me just because I'm on the other side of the line. See, our country wasn't founded to be "Land of the Free, as long as you think like me, look like me, and talk like me." It was founded to be the "Land of the Free, Home of the Brave", and that's for ALL of us.

"The best thing to give... a friend, your heart."
Sometimes this is easier said than done, but most of us are able to find a way to give more than we seek to receive. Especially to those to whom we are close. So what does giving your heart to someone entail? I think what Mr. Franklin was saying here is to be generous with our time, love, and friendship. I mean, why horde those things away? What purpose does it serve you to keep those things in 'reserve'? It's not like there's a finite amount of love in the world and once we run out, we're screwed. The wonderful thing about love, joy, and happiness is that they are renewable resources. They never run out. We can make more any time we feel like it. Does it take some time to do so? Does it take some energy? Of course. On many a day I'd rather just pull the covers over my head and go to sleep. But when a friend needs you, can you be there for them with your 'bottomless bucket of support'? I hope so. I have been fortunate enough to have a few friends in my life that, no matter what, not only WOULD be there, they WERE there when I needed them most. To those I say thank you, and to those I say, 'anytime'.

"The best thing to give... your child, a good example."
Notice that Mr. Franklin is not saying that your role as a parent is to be your child's best friend. Your role is not to be the 'cool' parent that gives material things, loose rules (or no rules), and thin-ice discipline. By 'thin-ice discipline' I mean that it might look strong enough on the surface, but as soon as anyone puts a little pressure on it, it cracks and they fall through. I see so many parents these days that are WAY more concerned with being 'cool' or 'friends' to their kids, instead of instilling in those children ideals such as responsibility, respect, and character. I'm not saying that you should run your house like a boot-camp. But a child needs to be shown the right path. Once you become a parent, you have a responsibility to behave differently than you did prior to that child's arrival. You need to show them the way. Teach them how to achieve their goals, and teach them how to stay out of trouble. Now, I'm no child psychologist, so I won't pretend to know HOW to actually do this. But what I do know is that it can't be done if you are more concerned about your child 'liking' your methods. They may think you're cool now to give them everything they ask for, but the first time the big bad world kicks them in the butt, don't be surprised when they come running to you to fix it.

"The best thing to give... a father is deference; a mother, conduct that will make her proud of you."
Doesn't this really just boil down to 'respect your parents'? It was Bill Cosby who delivered the ultimate line here... "I brought you into this world son, I can take you out!". Well, not really, but damn if I didn't believe that when I was a kid. Did I really think that Dad was going to 'take me out' of this world...literally? Of course not. But I darn sure knew that he could take me out of my own little world! I can't tell you how many times I was in a position to get myself in a whole lot of trouble. But there was this little red flashing light in the back of my mind... "If you get caught, you will be in so much trouble that whatever it is you are thinking about doing, it ain't worth it!" I think if we give our parents this respect, than that will lead to 'conduct that will make her proud', don't you?

Of course, this is kind of a cyclical argument though. If a child isn't taught these values by their parents, then they will never give these things back to their parents. So again, it falls on the parents. Of course, once the child is old enough to 'know better', it falls squarely on the child.

I'm reminded of something my best friend told me about learning how to deal with people. Just always ask yourself, "Is that something I'd say to my grandmother / mother?" It works:
-At the restaurant, "Take this back and let me see your manager... Grandma!"
-At work, "what the heck is this? I told you a million times how to do this right... Grandma!"
-Anywhere... try it!
I think my friend had the secret to happiness and good communication in that one piece of advice.

"The best thing to give... yourself, respect."
Oh boy... back to the tough ones again. I can't tell you how many times I've disrespected myself, all in an attempt to respect (or gain the favor of) others. We have to be true, first and foremost, to ourselves. By definition, isn't this being selfish? It took me a VERY long time to realize the answer to this question is NO! Being selfish means being true to ourselves AT THE EXPENSE of others. If we are not harming others, or if we are giving to others in different ways, than looking out for ourselves once in awhile is NOT selfish. In my opinion, you can't really give someone else anything of real value until you respect yourself and have met your own needs first. But, once you've taken care of those basic things, then we find an interesting phenomenon. We actually can gain more self-respect and meet more of those 'own needs' when we give to others! Some cynics might say, 'Then Lefty, what you're really saying is that giving to to others is being selfish, if you're doing it to make yourself feel better.' Okay, if you say so. If the ONLY reason that I'm doing it is to increase my own level of self-respect or to boost my own ego about myself, then I might be inclined to agree with that. However, even so, is it a bad thing to help others, no matter what the ultimate underlying reason? That's a bigger question than I'm prepared to tackle tonight, but I think on the surface it's fine. It's definitely not as bad as the opposite... doing nothing for anyone else.

"The best thing to give... all men, charity."
Good ol' Ben... saving the best and most important for last. As I said above, help others when you can. Whether it's with your money, your time, your love, or your effort, it all just makes every day a little bit better for you and for them. Sure, many a proud individual doesn't want your charity... see the above discussion about self-respect. But the reality is that plenty need it. And if you are LUCKY ENOUGH to be in a position to be charitable; if you've worked hard enough to be in a position like this, in my opinion, you have a responsibility to be helpful to your fellow man. Does that mean give them handouts? Maybe, maybe not... that's your decision. Does it mean to extend your hand to them and help them up off the ground when the Fates have conspired to beat them down? Absolutely, positively, and emphatically... YES! Whether or not you see it as "choice" on their part to not work harder, or a matter of "desire" to get themselves out of the gutter, remember this: we've all needed a little help from time to time. Chances are that if you're lucky enough to be reading this on your computer in your warm and comfortable home, someone, somewhere, sometime gave you some help along the way too. Maybe not. I could be wrong.

Thankfully!

Yeah! Looks like they are going to be able to repair my chariot instead of "totalling" it and sending her to a scrapheap somewhere! Great news! I didn't want to have to try to find another truck! Looks like I'll have my baby back in a week or so! All right!

Now, on to brighter subjects... as much as I'd like to say that I've renounced modern civilization in favor of a simpler way of life, the truth is that there's this little thing called "March Madness" that comes along once a year that drives me nuts! I love college hoops and always will, no matter where I am and what I'm doing. How about how lucky those Blue Devils were yesterday...best game of the tournament so far. My hats off to the boys from Belmont. Those kids will remember that game forever. Now my beloved Tar Heels take the court tonight to start their run to (hopefully) glory. I may have turned into a peace-lovin', tree-huggin' hippie, but I've still got the ol' hardwood fever. Go Heels!

My Luck in Florida Hasn't Changed

Good Grief! I'm back in Florida for all of a couple of weeks and BAM! Literally. I'm on my way home last night and some kid rear-ends me going full speed! I mean, it's not like I'm even stopped at a light... I'm just driving down the road, some headlights come roaring up on me from behind and "CRUNCH"! Then the kid turns down a side street and tries to run! Thank goodness for my new best friend who saw the whole thing happen, tracked where the kid went and directed the cops right to him! Yeah! Justice! I'm fine, thankfully, but my truck has seen better days. It didn't look too bad last night, but this morning in the light I was able to see that he hit me hard enough to crunch the frame up, which of course means that the doors and such don't quite line up right anymore! *sigh*. I'm anxious to speak to the insurance folks in the morning when they call me back. Thank goodness this kid (or more likely his mother) has insurance.

You know, with as many days and nights as I have spent in that truck, she and I have gotten pretty close in the last couple of months! I hope that the auto-surgeons are able to put her under the knife and restore her to her former glory.

The funniest thing about it is the number of days I spent in that truck on snow-covered roads, climbing mountain passes and negotiating hairpin curves that could have served as professional hockey rinks... all without a mishap or even close to one! HA! Life's funny sometimes, ain't it? Har-dee-har-har.